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 lost, out of hope, don't know what is right

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denzel
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Number of posts : 686
Location : Perth
Registration date : 2014-12-26

PostSubject: Re: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Mon 16 Jan 2017, 8:59 am

An excellent response, thank you xx.
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shuki
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Location : australia
Registration date : 2017-01-12

PostSubject: Re: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Sun 15 Jan 2017, 9:29 am

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.  I really appreciate it.  I have spent 3 years with a psych for weightloss and we dealt with a lot of underlying issues which has changed my relationship with food but we never got to the losing weight part - and it cost a bomb!.  I have decided the next step is to get with a dietician and do as you suggest - have a talk to my GP.  I will head back to my physio to lock in to pilates again as well - this gives me unlmited access to the physio gym which is better than a 'look how fit i am' gym version.  I am going to keep following these topics too.  You guys have been fantastic
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Travelling Fat Girl Slim
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Number of posts : 53
Age : 34
Location : Townsville, QLD
Registration date : 2016-12-22

PostSubject: Re: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Fri 13 Jan 2017, 1:50 am

You're right, Shuki. It's a really polarising topic. I haven't been sleeved yet (waiting for private health cover to kick in) but I'm definitely looking forward to the next few years! I don't feel shame as such at being this big, more disappointment than anything else.

I also don't have any other issues, and I've done everything else. I've had a personal trainer and done the other fad diets. I don't have a partner so can't relate with that one, but do have a couple of people who are worried that it's too drastic. My question to them, is what do they suggest? Because I've tried a lot of other things, and it's not a matter of eating healthy and exercising, because I do those things!

I'm going to the Gold Coast for my surgery, and I had a phone consultation with the surgeon. He tried to talk me out of it straight up, because it is a big step. But, a worthy one. Yes, there are plenty of reasons not to get it done, and if you read some of the horror stories, there can be complications. But to me, the benefits outweighed the negatives.

It's the first step in a life-long journey. I kept coming back to this - what happens if I don't get it? Can you live with the alternative - yo-yo dieting and disappointment and continued feelings of shame and regret?

This is probably a silly question, but have you spoken to a psych/GP about this? My GP was totally for it, but we do have an excellent relationship. And she's making me see a psychologist before I get the surgery and after as well. My suggestion would be to get a referral from your GP (or one willing to give you one anyway) to talk to the surgeon in your area. There is a section on here about surgeons, and you should be able to search for them anyway. Or a bariatric clinic? Maybe make a list of your hesitations to discuss with them.

Your feelings are absolutely normal so don't despair.
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Groovy
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Number of posts : 114
Location : Townsville
Registration date : 2016-02-12

PostSubject: Re: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Fri 13 Jan 2017, 12:43 am

Shuki, I can relate to where you're at. I'm ashamed, still, that I needed an operation to control my weight. The thing is, though, that we're all sold a lie - that we can and should be able to just eat less and exercise more and pixie dust and magic sprinkles, maintain our weight for the rest of our lives. Utter. Bullshit.

If it was so easy, there would be no obesity at all. The diet industry lies, the exercise industry (gyms etc) lies that exercise helps you lose weight (it doesn't, although it does help with weight maintenance, good health and longevity). What happens is we lose weight, okay, but then something happens to make us lose focus - family troubles, a life change, lack of time etc etc...then we revert to our previous default eating and activity patterns. This pattern is repeated again and again, until you end up middle aged, almost menopausal, with a host of medical problems and unable to lose weight. That's my story and it's one I'm sure we all share to some extent. The truth is, bariatric surgery is the most reliable means of keeping weight off long term. Studies have shown that after 10 years, 50% of people will have maintained their weight loss compared to 2% of dieters (non-bariatric).

My surgery acted as a circuit breaker. It stopped the cycle. It's given me hope. However, the thing is, as with ANY bariatric surgery, it will only really help me in the first 4-5 years, with the initial honeymoon period lasting only 12 months. After that, we are like anyone who's lost weight. To maintain our weight loss, we need to maintain the habits that made us lose weight. SURGERY IS NO MIRACLE. It takes work, work that HAS to go on for the rest of your life. I knew this beforehand, but I never really knew it until just recently. It's sunk in that I have to exercise every day and watch what I eat for the rest of my life. There's no guarantee that I won't revert to my previous eating patterns and regain weight. I have set in place some automatic habits in the past few months and years, though, that my surgery has helped to establish. Eating off smaller plates, controlling the food in my immediate environment (don't buy crap!), doing exercise I enjoy and surrounding myself with positive support - I like Instagram which has a large Australian weight loss surgery community, also this forum as well as Facebook groups and I have a few friends who've also had the surgery, not to mention my surgeon and dietitian - all will hopefully assist with long term weight maintenance.

It's totally up to you how you use the opportunity that surgery offers. I chose life, and enjoy living it every day now, unlike when I was 140kg and merely existing. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Ps - I always talk too much, sorry for the long winded answer!
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Gollie
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PostSubject: Re: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Thu 12 Jan 2017, 3:43 pm

Hi shuki,

Welcome the forums. I was a little like you, deeply ashamed about how much I let my weight get out of control. Whilst my starting weight was a bit lower than yours (105kg), my bmi was still around 46 since I'm so short. I had issues with sleep apnea and terrible snoring, to the point where my ex partner woke up one morning and threatened to smother me if they didn't get any sleep!

I can't help with names of surgeons in Melb since I'm based in Perth, but I can definitely say the sleeve has been the best decision I ever made. It's still relatively early days, I was only sleeved about 9 months ago, but I've matched the sleeve with a bit of a lifestyle and diet change to give myself the best long term success possible.

The surgery is just a tool, it really falls onto yourself to make the most of it while it's the most effective in the first few months. Surgery can be a scary thing, but for me, it was definitely worth it.
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shuki
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Number of posts : 3
Location : australia
Registration date : 2017-01-12

PostSubject: lost, out of hope, don't know what is right   Thu 12 Jan 2017, 2:46 pm

Having read a lot it seems the opinion on gastric surgery is polarising.  
I am 146 with a BMI 49.  Desperately ashamed.  No other medical issues apart from weight related apnea and sore knees and back.
My husband is worried that surgery is too radical a step.
I have tried all the diets.
I don't know who is a good doctor who will honestly give me a well researched opinion
i live in eastern Melbourne
really lost in all of this.
Shuki
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