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 My first post - to tell, or not to tell

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jessied
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Number of posts : 324
Location : Country NSW
Registration date : 2011-02-12

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Mon 20 Jun 2016, 1:18 am

Hi
I am 4 1/2 years post sleeve and kept the op secret apart from a few closest family members.
My fear was that if I failed and re-gained the weight I didn't want people to know how I had lost
weight.  I had lost so much weight with so many different programs but regained it all each time
plus a bit extra!

When organising time off work I just used the line about some plumbing needing fixing - (male workplace
so of course no-one asked any questions until the day I went off work when my male boss asked should he
be worried...).  Have to love men!

Now I am quite happy to explain about the sleeve if necessary if I feel someone is interested.  I have been lucky that
I have had a lot of support and have never had any negative reactions from anyone.

all the best with your journey.  
JessieD
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DonnaKB
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Female
Number of posts : 2
Age : 45
Location : Arkansas
Registration date : 2016-06-16

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Fri 17 Jun 2016, 3:59 am

I am torn too. My surgery is scheduled for 7/6/16 and I just completed my FMLA papers at work. I haven't told any of my co-workers. Only my spouse and sister. They have been great supporters but I don't think the majority of my co-workers would be. At this time I am keeping it quiet. Good luck to you.
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Ree84
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Number of posts : 46
Location : South West Sydney
Registration date : 2016-05-28

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Wed 15 Jun 2016, 11:31 pm

So true Devy - it's all about trust!
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Devy10
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Number of posts : 51
Age : 42
Location : Sydney
Registration date : 2016-05-20

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Wed 15 Jun 2016, 10:38 pm

Hi there 
I don't have many close friends in Australia so that was easy for me not to tell them, my family are also in NZ but I did call and tell my sister she's a larger girl herself and I wanted to share with her and hopefully give her something to think about for her own health.
I've told my boss as he's fantastic and supportive and it felt right telling him however I won't tell anyone else at work as they're all skinny anyway and wouldn't offer any support I feel.
I think tell who you trust and who you think benefit from your sharing.
Good luck
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Ree84
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Female
Number of posts : 46
Location : South West Sydney
Registration date : 2016-05-28

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Wed 15 Jun 2016, 10:17 pm

I know shouting it from the rooftops isn't for everyone, I just hope you have some good people around who will support you if yiu decide to tell them. You've still got some time, good luck with the decision. :)
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agus
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Number of posts : 85
Location : Central QLD
Registration date : 2016-03-28

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Wed 15 Jun 2016, 12:00 pm

wow, Ree, these are  great points!!!!!

I will take them on board, I am scheduled for 2/9/16 and still fighting with myself what to do, who to tell...

cheers
agus
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Ree84
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Female
Number of posts : 46
Location : South West Sydney
Registration date : 2016-05-28

PostSubject: Re: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Wed 15 Jun 2016, 12:33 am

Hi Fatcat,

I understand your concerns, a lot of people face judgement when they tell people they have decided to have WLS. I have been pretty lucky in that the selected family and friends I have told have been supportive. There are other though that I have not told specifically because I don't think they would be supportive. I think what it really boils down to is only telling people you really trust. 

There is also an element of re-education that needs to happen though. After my surgery, I plan to make it pretty widely known that I have had it - for a few reasons.

1 - I want the negative stigma of WLS to go away. It should be accepted more because it's a valuable tool for sustainable weight loss.

2 - People complain constantly about the cost obese people put on the health care system with related diseases and this is one of the best ways to fix that.

3 - It's by no means the "easy" way out. You still have to work hard. People should know that.

4 - Most importantly for me, I have been negatively affected by a couple of secret sleevers. I know two people that have had the operation and kept it a secret. I was left feeling like a failure in my efforts as they were able to lose vast amounts of weight and I was not. It sent me in to a pretty deep spiral of self loathing. I don't want to be responsible for doing this to other people.

In saying all that, I completely understand why people want to keep it a secret and I would never suggest you tell people if it's not something you want to do. You need to make the best decision for your circumstances. 

Good luck
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Fatcat10
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Number of posts : 10
Location : Melbourne
Registration date : 2016-06-10

PostSubject: My first post - to tell, or not to tell   Tue 14 Jun 2016, 11:52 pm

Hello
This is my first post. I'm booked for surgery 1 August.
I was going to tell all my friends and family about my decision to have a sleeve, but after all my research it appears to be advised that you don't do that or you encounter having to explain why you took 'the easy way' (what's easy about it?) out.
Has anyone had experiences to share with the reaction of friends/work colleagues etc?
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