Thanks for all the thoughtful and humorous replies.

I am actually reasonably happy on my own and I have achieved quite a lot. Because it has always been that way I don't really know any differently, I have always been basically single (at least since I was about 17 years) apart from flings and few short term boyfriends earlier in my life (no long term commitments). But I would like to share my life with someone someday (the sex wouldn't hurt either). I have always put the lack of a man in my life down to my excess weight and/or that fact that I was a single mum (my son does have quite a strong personality and it would have been difficult for any man to step in and help me raise him). But now he is grown and is becoming a nice man and he does (when I nag and nag and nag) 'sometimes' help with the manly things around the house.

But sometimes I see a larger women with a lovely man by her side and I think 'where is mine' and get a bit green.



My sister in law thinks that I am gregarious and I do try and dress in a way that is flattering to my shape and that show off my assets rather than hiding them. I think that sometimes I scare men away with my passionate ways and I can have quite strong opinions on particular subject matters sometimes, but then who doesn't. I just try and be a bit different.

Sorry for rambling on so much.



It is now only 4 weeks until my newlife begins and hopefully better and more energetic life. The man I am sure is just around the corner.

I used to think that too, but settled for someone who truly loved me for who I am...Oooohhhhh.
Chris

Chris,
I have a prerequisite in my next man. He must answer a questionaire and be able to do all those handyman manly things around the house LOL
steph

I expect to be quite wealthy once I get the surgery- in fact if I can get my husband to agree I think we can exist on the proverbial shared raisin--- and then I can save all my supermarket money for a trip to Australia, and New Zealand, and Wales, and Malaysia,....

My fantasy has always been to control my weight problem- now I am only count um- only 33 days away from surgery I am already fantasizing about my next dream.

Until then I am reading up on all these exotic places and enjoying the internet travel sites- the New Zealand one looks particularly exciting-------- :[img]http://my

Oh well, Steph, my man wouldn't be any good for that - he's hopeless around the house! We still have to hire people to do odd jobs.
Chris

asnewme, I totally agree with you which is why I'm not worrying about men at the moment.
My husbands reasons for leaving me was because I wasn't the same weight I was when we married and because I refused to take any more of his verbal abuse and controlling behaviour. I have never been more happy with my life being single than I was in my 18 year marriage.
I guess that is where we are different Lynette . I don't feel as if I need a man in my life except when I need jobs done at home that I can't do myself and then wish I didn't have to pay a tradesman. LOL that's the only time I miss men.

steph

If that's the case, asnewme, you'd best start saving your pennies for the air fare for the wedding!
Actually, I met my hubby when I was a lot smaller, although he loves me for who I am and hasn't been at all worried about me putting on weight.

Lynette,
Hope I don't incite a riot here, but I always found it a whole lot easier to find a guy when I was thin and confident than when I was heavy and tried to hide myself in bland, oversize clothing.

And maybe that had more to do with my increased confidence level than with my reduced weight- but whatever the reason- that was just my experience.

Soooooo.....

At the risk of everyone getting mad at me- oh no, oh no,

I think you are going to beating them off with sticks by March.

And who knows- maybe this web site will get really big, and attract a lot of great people, and Hayley will start up a sleevers dating service, and we will all attend your commitment ceremony with Hayley as your minister and old fart will walk you down the aisle

I met my wife at a local school fete, she was standing between the lucky dip and the wishing well..... we were introduced walked to a stall and purchased a set of flying ducks together and still have them, oh and I got my lucky dip!!

I met my hubby when i was a week off being 18... so i didnt kiss to many toads before i met him...lol

Hi Lynette,

We can start up our own club or something. I am in the same boat as you. But at the moment I'm not too worried about men.

steph

Hey maybe you need closure on that last love so a new man can walk through the door? :)

When I had internet at home I did register and got a few replies but mostly very uninteresting, non compatible, or drongo types (no internet at home at the moment). I do love someone (childhood sweetheart, known since berth) but he lives in another state and between our youth when we hooked up and now (20 year gap between meeting again), he married (unhappily I believe), so I missed the boat on that one unless!!!!!!. We are very good friends now and we communicate often (not crossing any lines of course, his wife encourgages our friendship and she knows our history - very strange). I guess I just haven't met the right person yet. Maybe too many years of self doubt etc etc :<a href=htt

Oh my lord, I never thought there was anything left in this world to surprise me, but there you go! What next aye!LOL

Quote:

4 years since I've had you know what

Hmm I also had to kiss a lot of toads first, in fact describing two of them as toads really is insulting to the poor toads.

I was on my own for 4 years then I met my now hubby. I think in those four years I grew up a lot and changed my expectations about what I see in people. I wouldn't have picked my hubby 10 years ago, he is far to straight laced lol but now I am so lucky to have such a wonderful person in my life.

Have you tried internet dating Lynette?

while i don't think it's good to be deliberately gaining unhealthy amounts of weight for a fetish - i don't think it's a bad thing that some men are particularly attracted to very large women. we all have different taste - i've never fancied blond-haired men, and prefer my men to be on the beefier side rather that too slim. it's just my preference. some people are into S&M - as long as it doesn't physically or emotionally hurt people, i'm ok with that.

then there are people who are just attracted to the person rather than their physical attributes - when i met my hubby i was young and slim - he's been attracted to my through all my different forms. the only time he's been less attracted is when i've gained weight and let it affect my personality - you know when you start feeling awful and you take no pride in your appearance and you're always down on yourself and it infiltrates your whole life? i was like that more so at 85-90kg and on the way up than i am now. even though i am still way bigger than i want to be and it does affect my confidence, i don't let it "beat" me, and still make the best with what i currently have.

Hi Lyn
Hey, I was in the same boat as you for many many years, and I had to kiss a lot of toads before I found my prince! I was alone (well, there were guys, but nothing permanent or really good) for about 14 years before I found my new hubby.
And I found him on a cruise ship, of all places - he lived in Melbourne and I lived in Sydney, but we met on a ship in Noumea! I'd gone with a friend, to celebrate finishing our uni degrees.
We had a long-distance relationship for nearly a year before he decided to take the risk and move near me.
I had a teenage daughter that I didn't want to uproot, but he left 3 kids behind (he was just divorced when I met him).
Sorry, but I don't know anyone else for you - our social circle is very small.
Chris

Hey all

Just by the way, where did all you lucky ladies meet such wonderful men who love you just the way you are. I've been on my own since it seems forever, raised my son on my own, went to uni on my own, bought a house on my own etc etc etc etc and it has been at least 4 years since I've had you know what (which was a lovely holiday fling). Do you know of any spare men for me??????

........... and she never even developed a double chin! Impossible to put on so much weight and keep a slim face and a chin!

Watch any of the tf shows out there on the worlds largest woman or man. All these people are house and most bed bound. they ALL have feeders. It is shocking to watch, but you can not blame you tube when it is on your own tv. I do think judging it us ugly and or revolting as being terribly judgmental tho. Judging it as extrmely unhealhty both physically and mentally I say you bet. But being ashamed of a large body on display and judging it on the way it looks is just something I do not accept. I think all of us have been judged enough without passing those sort of appearance judments on others.

applesauce

I don't believe that these photos are real. The fact that her face stayed so thin and lovely makes me believe that they took photos of several different women and then melded them together with one face- which in a weird way is less sick than stuffing one woman to death.

Of course if they need photofodder and one of us wanted to I guess we could take photos of ourselves losing weight and then the videographer could put the photos back together into a movie - just backwards- latest first!

Sounds like we're all lucky then, because my hubby's the same.
Of course I agree that if one person is contributing to another's problems, that's unhealthy in the extreme. I was talking about choice before, not about an unhealthy relationship. I hadn't seen any info on it before, only being aware that large women were sometimes seen as sexy - which, although I don't get it, is nothing to be ashamed of.
I also wondered at the woman's face - it was quite small in comparison to the rest of her, wasn't it?
Chris

my hubby is the same hayley....he loves me for me. but he is so excited about me losing weight also. But tte main thing for both of us is my health. cant beleive i will be a non-smoker, non-drinker, non-eater....lol

i also watched a doco on feeders on sbs aa couple of years ago and i couldnt beleive my eyes...some of these woomen could not even get off the bed they were that big, the men had to wash them by lifting up there fat rolls....im not sure were they get off on this.

Looking at this vid i was really watching her face it didnt seem to change very much it almost looked like it was not her head on that sized body....did anyone pick this up...i know that it was, but most of us carry weight in the face and her face was so little......lol sorry couldnt help but comment

Hi Hayley,

I remember watching a documentary many years ago about this and feeling the same way. The people involved were very nonchalant about the whole thing, as if it was normal to be like this. To me it was like these women where slaves and being fed constantly like pets and the men enpowered by the control they had over them (the womens illness over food). Their justification was they loved each other.

All I can say is each to their own but to me that aint love its SICK!

Lou

Hey, Hayley
I knew there were people around who liked big woman, and even encouraged it, but have never come across it myself.
I don't think it's a very healthy lifestyle, and like you I don't find it very attractive - but if these woman are choosing to do this, and they're happy doing it, then that's fair enough.
There are a lot worse things in this world, I'm afraid.
I'm sure that you'll find much worse on youtube and elsewhere on the web, too - even allowing that this particular vid was a mild one.
That's my 2c worth, and I'm sure that others will totally disagree with it!
Chris